Thanks, but...no thanks


A lesson learned. So, it's been quite some time now and I am 99% sure that I won't be getting a call back for the bridal show. Three women from my agency went to the audition and were recently notified that they weren't selected to be in the show. The funny thing about it though, is the actual reason why they weren't selected. Check this, the head of the bridal show said they were "too skinny"..Lol I didn't even know "too skinny" existed in the fashion world. There were no other guys from my agency that went to the audition but, I'm just gonna go out on a limb and assume I haven't been selected (all because of those damn pivots!!!). Oh well, like I said before, it's a learning experience regardless. But you better be damn sure I'm workin my butt off to get my ish together! Even thought I'm not really interested in the runway part of the industry or even "fashion" in general (I'm more interested in the acting portion of my classes, that I'll be starting in a couple weeks), I still want to do my best and I never wanna close any doors to opportunity.

Oh well, back to the drawing board. Practice makes perfect I assume

Some good news though..


Yes, you guy's first chance to kick it and get dumb drunk with me and Brooke will be the first weekend in February!! I told you it would be soon. Brooke will be coming here on Friday the 5th and leaving Sunday the 7th. So that's a Friday and Saturday's worth of time to get dumb and have fun :) . She is very excited to meet you guys and has heard good things (or at least funny shit) about all of you so make sure to make some free time to say "hey".

NO,NO please...Not the face!!

Well most of you heard by now and if you didn't go ask somebody else. I'm not gonna dwell on the topic simply due to it's stupidity but, yes I did get punched in the face a few times thursday night and yes, it was by a girl..i think. Lol no seriously all jokes aside, I just wanna say to any ladies thinking about hitting me in the near future. I can take a punch from guys, soooo you're probably not gonna hurt me too much by punching me yourselves and I realize that so I'm not making a big deal about the punches themselves. But, the fact remains that i am now trying to gain work in an industry where my face is my "contract" so to speak. I need this thing and I need it not to have cuts all over it.

If you wanna "hurt" me punch me in the stomach or something..Better yet, go get your boyfriend so I can whoop HIS ass since I'm not allowed to hit you. Point is, don't touch my face please

Industry Woes


Hey guys how you been? Hopefully you've been doing a little better than I have in fact, I can almost bet you have lol. Well the last time I wrote to you guys I was nervous about my audition that i had that night for the Bridal show showcase. I promised that I'd update you guys on how it went so here goes..

Obstacle #1 was actually finding the place. I knew the boutique was in the Eton plaza (the one in woodmere with Trader Joe's in it) but it took me ten minutes of driving around the parking lot before I realized that the place was actually inside the tiny "mall". ughh. So I walk in the building with my freshly shaven face (which I'm actually starting to like), dark blue jeans, black v-neck, black dress shoes. pea coat and scarf. I walk down the hallway with my head swinging back and forth from left to right looking for this audition site all the while practicing my posture. Needless to say I was nervous and it showed.

After walking for what seemed like forever I noticed a line of about 14 of the tallest women (besides volleyball players) that I've ever seen. This had to be the place. Before I go any further let me throw this in here

Disclaimer:

*Note, the world is full of beautiful women and men(no homo). Me saying that a girl is PHYSICALLY beautiful does not discredit my love for Brooke at all. I may be biased and think that she is an "angel" but im not ignorant. Other people are beautiful also.*

With that out of the way..

As I drew closer to the crowd not only did i notice that the young women were tall ( about 5'11" barefoot + wearing 4 in heels) but, I noticed that they were quite possibly the most beautiful girls/women I've ever seen in Ohio. If I wasnt nervous before I definitely was now. I got in line behind them and smiled at some of the younger girl's mothers who must have sensed I was nervous and in efforts to calm me down smiled back and said "you look very nice". Did it work? FUCK NO but, it stopped my shaking lol. After standing in line for about 40 sec. I realized that all the male models were actually sitting at tables while the women were in line to the boutique. So I got outta line and quickly sat down at a table with friendly lookin dude who if I had known was a "talker" I would have reconsidered my seating choice.

As I'm sitting there watching the girls go in the boutique one at a time, I did what any other insecure male would at that moment. I began to size up my competition. I looked around at the different guys who to be honest, didnt really have much that was special looking about them. To their credit however all of them looked as though they had skin like a baby's behind, smooth and blemish free. In this industry that is always a big plus. Out of the 10 total guys there I will have to admit probably 3 of them had striking facial features that would help them stand out from a crowd their downfall however, was the fact that they were "pretty boys". When we all finally stood up I could tell that most of these guys looked like they never did anything physical in their lives besides pick up a styling brush in other words, there were alot of "frail" looking guys. I'm not a "big" guy by any means but my v-neck was makin me look like Ronnie next to these fools. Advantage Marc right? Let's see..

Meanwhile as the guys sat, the women went in, put on dresses and strutted. Half of these "beautiful" women lost their beautiful status in MY book once they took off their jackets. Talk about skinny! Ribcages and shoulders galore. I couldn't help but feel sorry for these girls who see beauty in being thin just because Hollywood says so. That sight was actually quite saddening and made me forget my nerves for a moment. That is until a short brunette woman abruptly interrupted my daydreaming and appeared in front of me asking for my "Name and Agency?". Time to get started.

The woman apologized to the guys for our long wait and in an effort to expedite things asked all the men to line up and take turns walking in the hallway yes, in plain sight of the women's audition line, waiting parents and mall goers. How exciting. Even though I was one of the last to arrive, with the way we lined up I was second in line to walk. The lady asked us to walk down the hallway, pivot, walk back and repeat. So walk down and back twice. The guy ahead of me walked down came back only once and before he could go down again she said "Thank you Thomas, that's enough". Ouch. Now my turn. I made sure my head was back and I was "tall" and began my long walk. I stopped. I posed. I pivoted. I came back. I posed and before I could begin my second trip down the hallway i heard the woman say "honey?". In my head I thought dammit!! well this is it, I'm gonna get the boot a la Thomas. I replied "Yes ma'am?" waiting for the bad news. To my surprise all she said was "Be sure to smile this time. You have a nice smile can you please show us?". *whew. So I embark on another trip down the hallway and back probably over doing the smile (ughhh) and when I get back I'm expecting to hear "Okay Marc, thank you. Have a nice day" instead she asks me to do my walk one more time but, only halfway down the hallway this time. She said she wants to see "How you're pivoting, one more time".

This was good and bad I realized, Good for that fact that she is so interested in me that she actually wants me to walk 2 and 1/2 times instead of 1 but, this request was bad for the fact that I knew my pivot was questionable. I did my walk and tried sooo hard to pivot smoothly. I walked back towards her tall, confident and with a smile. For the first time in the entire day I was confident. I "knew" that I was gonna be in that show. I "knew" that I was the best model there. I was just standing there waiting for HER to tell me that. She instead told me this, "Thank you Marc, I've seen enough".

......

Shock, sadness, confusion. It all hit me at once. I just smiled, thanked her, grabbed my jacket and left. Whether or not I'm going to get a call back from them, who knows? All I know is that I can't swell on it if I don't. I am still in classes and am still learning. That was a learning experience and it was far from the "end of the road". All in all I'm staying optimistic but, somewhat doubtful of getting a call back. If I do I'll be sure to tell you guys though. Oh well, it was an experience and I'll grow from it. I may not gain work from the audition but, I did gain a bunch of confidence that's for sure! :)


Lemme introduce you to..

My wonderful Girlfriend Brooke =]


YES, this post is gonna be all about her so if you're not in the mood to hear about a beautiful woman who has opened my mind and heart to a thing called love and happiness then come back and read the blog tomorrow haters.

The point of this post isn't to brag (though I'm sure I will a little bit =] ), it's to inform you about a very important part of my life which, was previously somewhat in obscurity. Alot of you guys know I have a girlfriend but you don't really "know" much about her so if you wanna be lifted from your pit of ignorance read on..

First and foremost, NO I have not been hiding her or anything. The reason many of you have not met her yet is due to the fact that she lives in Baltimore, Maryland. That's right, a long distance relationship. OHHHH NOOO!! Those things never work! You're gonna be single in a month tops!! LOL thanks haters, I already know what you're thinking so I just went ahead and typed it for you. I'm not even gonna address this issue to be frank. What it eventually amounts to is an argument on faith between a Christian and an Atheist. Nobody "wins", you just wait and see. So while you say long distance never works I say "Love always finds a way". But I digress, back to Brooke..


She a really fun person as you can tell^^ lol and I find that extremely underrated in relationships now-a-days. You wanna always make sure you are friends with someone before you get together. if you two can't just hangout or do fun things and laugh together, do you really think "oh I think she's so sexy!!" is really gonna make that relationship last or even be meaningful? Brooke is hands down the nicest person I know ( and I know some nice people!). I guess it's kinda necessary though since I'm an asshole together we balance out lol.

She is a receptionist by day and a very talented singer/songwriter/musician by night. I can dig it too. You guys already know I love music so it was just icing on the cake, not to mention she actually watches football and UFC *fist pump* lmao. Don't just take my word for it take a listen:

Performing her Original song "Alot to Hide"


She is a driving force in my life and honestly couldn't have come to me at a better time than when she did. I was on a downward slope during the second half of 2009 but she helped me realize a lot of things and helped me "mature" so I thank her and honestly look up to her if that makes sense. Like I said before she is a real cool person and a kind and understanding one. Believe me there are times where I thought she was really gonna flip on me but she simply asks "Is everything okay baby?". Idk why I'm the lucky bastard she fell for but I am NOT complaining lol. Ima just assume I actually lucked out in life for once.


So even though I could just go on forever praising her and making this post the longest one in history, I'm not. What I will do is encourage you guys to find out how great she is for yourselves. Like I said before yes, we do live 6 hours apart but, we do visit each other from time to time and I can assure you she will be here in Cleveland sometime very soon. When she is here you will have plenty of time to hangout with us and get drunk lol but, in the meantime if you wanna talk to her go ahead and add her on facebook, she's extremely friendly and wouldn't mind at all. Just click on the name of the girl it says im in a relationship with and "add as friend" for all you dummies out there haha. Don't be creeps please...I'd hate to have to "handle" somebody cuz they were talkin slick to her.

When I officially know when she'll be coming for a visit I'll let you guys know. Until then go say "hi" don't be shy!! =]

Walk it Out


Well today is the day. My first runway show audition. If I sat here and typed to you guys about how I'm so confident and ready to blow the boutique away I'd be lying to you guys! I'm nervous as can be. I haven't eaten yet today( diet fail) because, in between blog posts I've been practicing my posture, stance and pivot. Don't get me wrong I do have some confidence in myself but, this is a totatlly different world for me. Besides my 3 weeks of training (In a 13-week program) I don't really know anything about fashion besides wearing outfits that match lol.

Oh well, I guess crying about things never really makes the situation better. Besides, I need to look at this as a valuable learning experience regardless of if I am accepted for the showcase or not. I still have plenty of opportunities in the future and I am very confident in that. If I go out there and do what I was taught I'm sure I'll do fine. Besides, my agency wouldn't have selected me to go audition if they didn't think I'd do a good job right?

I'll let you guys know how it goes later

Food for Thought



I noticed that I haven't posted a thoughtful post in a little while now so when this topic came to me in the shower I knew I had to "discuss" it with you guys. I know you guys don't really "respond" to my posts but just the idea of putting them out there gives me the feeling of having a conversation of sorts with you guys. Like I said a loooong time ago, what I say here is only MY opinion. Take it to heart or take it with a grain of salt I couldn't care less I just want you to think about it, that's all. So now that everyone has been reminded of the "MARC in full effect" disclaimer lemme get onto the topic.

The topic really boils down to the simple question:

"Why do we pity certain people?" In other words why do we feel that certain people are lacking a "quality" life simply because, their's is different from ours?

Now that may be a little bit confusing like I said, I thought of this in the shower lol but, I'll give an example and hopefully this will all make a little more sense.

The following discussion has to do with the young lady pictured at the beginning of this post. As you may have noted she was born with Down Syndrome and for the purpose of this topic she will be the "face" so to speak, of Mental Retardation. Now Mentally Challenged people are nothing to laugh at and are in fact, a very sore subject to even speak upon when dealing with some people. In my post I will state an idea or opinion and in doing so I will "tip-toe around eggshells" to make sure not to offend anyone reading. Now back to the topic..

Why do people say that they pity or feel sorry for the mentally handicapped?

I can see the obvious reasons such as their lack of total self-sufficiency and limited grasp on various concepts including "normal" (note the quotation marks) public etiquette BUT, I am going to change this up a little bit and offer the idea that in fact the mentally challenged should pity US. If you look at things like I do personally, meaning with a somewhat Christian view on things you know that one thing that separates children from adults is innocence. By innocence I mean the lack of accountability for one's wrong-doings due to ignorance. Children aren't born with hate, infidelity, lust or malicious intent. All of those things are developed and learned through life experience.

I offer the idea that all of us, you, me, your parents are in some way corrupt. That's just a fact of life. Another fact of life is that we all have concerns and a "standard" of living that we wish to achieve. We have pity for the mentally challenged because, we feel as though they are being "cheated" of a "normal" life. This "normal" life however, is something that we deemed as normal ourselves thus, making it lose merit. Who are we to say what is "normal" or not? Who are we to determine what is "fortunate" or not? Us saying that other human beings have an inadequate means of living makes no sense.

I feel as though the mentally handicapped should pity ME. Being the "normal" person I am, I have experienced things that a mentally handicapped person will never have to deal with. Everyday I am met with choices, deception and temptation. Everyone is. I know the difference from right and wrong so to speak, and I have no "challenges" to keep me from making the correct choices. The only thing that makes me or anyone else give in to hate, deception or lust is poor character. I'm not saying that the mentally challenged live "care-free" lives BUT what I am saying is that they still obtain that fabric of our lives that we all deep down, wish we still possessed; A sense of innocence in a world of corruption.

Like I stated earlier that was an extremely confusing post and I wish I could relay my thoughts a little better to you guys but I tried. All in all I hope that you took something from that and I hope no one was offended. I may touch back on this subject at a later time when I'm able to better transfer my ideas to words.

What I've Been up to.....

AmodelwalkstherunwayatEdwingDAngelo.jpg image by DJAMEE


Alright guys I have a confession (no im not gay), for the past couple of weeks I have been taking classes in a modeling/acting program with the Stone Modeling Agency. Now if you were to ask me I wouldn't be the one to tell you that I think I'm attractive but hey, it's not up to me. Anyway I've only attended three classes thus far and I've already learned how to walk down a runway AND pivot lol, buff my nails, pose and apply my own makeup (foundation and powder)..Now before you laugh at the make-up part hear me out...It isn't "makeup" in the sense of feminine looking stuff or circus clown stuff..simply feature enhancement makeup so to speak.

Let's face facts, 98% of people you see that are paid to be on television are wearing makeup..even the GUYS. It jus "smooths" you out and makes you more camera friendly. But anyway, enough about makeup lol...Along with the lessons I've learned I've also been selected for an audition

IN ONLY MY THIRD WEEK OF CLASSES

The event is a bridal show aka a runway display of tuxedos and dresses. As you may have guessed I would be required to walk down the runway in a tux (not a dress) and try not to fall of stage :(.. haha anyway I just wanted to give you gives a little insight as to what I've been up to lately.. I'll update you more on these "vanity affairs" <-- (see what I did there) as it unfolds

Excitement and Hardwork..



Hey guys what's goin? I know, I know..Long time no talk, well I'm here now and ready to fight procrastination and get back on this thing. So alot has happened since my last post but one thing in particular has been on my mind for the past few days. One of my JCU friends Jay (The Main Attraction lol) Campara, will been having a week-long yes, WEEK-LONG birthday celebration in his home state of Florida this coming August. After hearing the details on it my mind immediately went into "kid on christmas eve" mode and I can't stop thinking about it and wishing the trip was tomorrow!!

BUT

Along with my excitement came the realization that I have alotta things to do in order to make sure I'm ready when August actually does roll around. While it seems like torture to have to wait 7 months for this vacation, it is also a very good thing that I have this trip on my mind so well in advance due to the fact that my prep list will take some time to complete. First thing's first, MONEY.. Since I do not plan to hitchhike there or die from a lack of shelter and/or starvation ima need to start saving up some funds! I know how lazy I can be with certain things but this is a MUST. I'm guessing I'll need to store away atleast 1,500 (excluding travel fare) for this trip... which will be no easy" task.

Since money is my main concern at this point (and rightfully so) I guess my next concern could be listed as problem 1A. Anybody who can put 2 and 2 together realizes that with summer and warm weather comes beaches, and lots of time spent at them. Now I am in no way what-so-ever embarassed to get into swimwear. Trust me, I take care of myself BUT..I want to make sure I've progressed nicely in my "new year's resolution" by then. I'll use this halfway mark of the calender as a "midterm test" so to speak, in my year long endeavor. Besides I'm a HAPPILY taken guy with a wonderful girlfriend who will be joining me on this trip so I'm not gonna be there tryna impress any broads..I'm doing this myself and MY goals...and I'm sure Brooke wouldn't mind me gettin muscle anyway haha


So all in all, I'm excited but, I see a somewhat long road of work ahead before me and my people's are fist pumpin all night long..


Some Crazy Shit....watch all the way through!!

UGHHHHHHHHH


Sorry for the lack of posts today guys, today's just been one of those days. I'm strugglin with this new weight gain diet already! Stuffing your face with a FULL meal every 2 hours is no joke, trust me. I promise I'll be back to my normal "bloggin" self tmrw. I just need a creativity break for the time being. Hope all is well in YOUR lives. Ima go ahead and kick back with this protein shake and peanut butter sandwich (yuck) and wait for Jersey Shore to come on lol.

Good night =]

Some Facebook Fails

Relationship status FAIL:



Another Relationship Status FAIL:




Picture Comment FAIL:



NEW YEAR - NEW ME?



It's a new year which means time for a fresh start. Every year people make resolutions to better themselves in some way or another with many of them failing or giving up on their goals by March. I am no exception to this rule and this year I am more determined than ever to accomplish my goal! (lol I say that every year). So what is my resolution? I want to stop swearing and become a much better friend to everyone in my life. I want to treat everyone with love and respect and end my negative attitudes..


FUCK THAT!!!


hahahhahaha, fooled you guys didn't I? "I want to stop swearing and become a much better friend to everyone in my life" <-- how dumb and unrealistic does that sound? I've been a smart-ass all my life and I'm not stopping now! Well now that I got that lil joke outta my system here's my actual new year's resolution/ goal.

By year's end I would like to weigh 190 lbs. Yes, you read that correctly my goal is to successfully complete a weight GAIN diet. I've had so many people say to me "Marc WTF is a weight GAIN diet? Just eat more...why don't you gain weight?!"...Ahhh I love my astute friends. Anyway weight gain is not as simple as "eat more". It's what you eat, how you eat, when you eat and how often along side with steady exercise. My goal is to become 190 and maintain a muscular build, not to just add fat lol.

Why would someone need a weight gain diet?

Some people have a hard time naturally putting on weight due to many factors. Two very important factors are metabolism and body type.

What is metabolism and body type, and how can you combat them?


Simply put, a person's metabolism determines how fast they burn calories, which in turn determines how easily they gain weight or lose it. I personally have a high metabolism meaning I burn calories at a rapid rate meaning I need to consume even MORE calories (food/nutrients) to compensate for those burned thus, allowing for weight gain.

As far as body types go there are three different categories and for each different approaches should be taken in order to achieve that "dream" look.

ENDOMORPH:

An Endomorph's biggest concern should be the losing of fat and adopting a lifestyle that keeps it off. Strength training should be done to get a better muscle to fat ratio and therefore improve metabolism. Use moderate weights at a fast training pace (very little rest between sets and exercises). You should lower your calorie intake (but not try to starve yourself) and should eat frequent but small meals. Sugars, sweets and junk food should be eliminated from your diet. Engage daily in some activity like brisk walking, biking, etc., and try to increase the amount of time you spend each week.

MESOMORPH:

A Mesomorph has a naturally fit body but to maintain it or improve it they should exercise and diet corretly for their type. Strength training can be done more often and for longer sessions then would be good for an Ectomorph, but you must still be carefull not to overdo it. You should train with moderate to heavy weighs and at a moderate pace, not resting too long between sets. You will find you gain muscle quite easy (some women and even men might not want to get too bulky, but this won't happen suddenly. When you are happy with your muscle size simply train to maintain it). Stick to a good healthy diet to keep you lean and muscular, and watch for any slow creeping fat gains. Engage in and enjoy aerobic activities, sports, etc. but do not overdo.


ECTOMORPH:

Ectomorphs should concentrate on gaining weight in the form of good lean muscle tissue (some women that are too thin may also want to put on a little fat to look more feminine). Weight training should be done but not too often or for too long each session. Weight should be fairly heavy and workout pace slower (longer rest periods between sets). Diet should be high in calories (good quality food not junk) and you should eat more then you're used to and often. Aerobic and other activities (sports, dancing, etc.) should be kept to a minimum, at least until you are happy with your weight and looks.

All information above courtesy of http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/becker3.htm


From the given description above me myself would be an ectomorph thus, comes me need to consume a large amount of (healthy) calories along with intense workouts.

Who is a famous ectomorph to go through such a transformation?

Well I'm glad you asked. One very famous ectomorph to follow a rigorous weight gain diet and workout plan is none other than the American Woman's favorite Warewolf Taylor Lautner.
Check it out:

He went from



To



Now as much as it pained me to search for pictures of this guy being the heterosexual man I am, it was to prove a point. It CAN be done with hard work and dedication. I'll just end this post with a little quotation from Taylor himself on the subject

"I had to eat every two hours.Seriously, I’d wake up and my trainer would say, “You need to have six egg whites, and bacon and toast and…” It became a lot, so that was the hardest part. "

Song of the Day

I can never stay mad whenever I listen to this song. It honestly relaxes me and
erases my problems




LOVE, PAIN and the balance of the universe


It seems that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. It's a law of science, so why wouldn't it be a law of life in general. Whenever there is happiness there always seems to be sorrow not too far away. Whenever there is a sense of pride there's always a sense of disgust. When there is LOVE, there is PAIN. Everything works in a cycle and everything needs "balance". When there is new life in this world there is always death. Everything is apart of "give and take" in the grand scheme of things.

No, I'm not trippin and no I'm not high right now, I'm seriously trying to bring something to light that has been bugging me for a little while now. I've always had some belief in the existence of this "law" of life but, it hasn't been until recently that I've finally been able to fully grasp the concept. There are a couple of instances that I've come across in the past few days that have fully supported this theory.

Example 1:

A friend of mine recently ended his relationship with his girlfriend and cited reasons to me as to why he did it. Some of the reasons made sense to me and others didn't, anyway I'm not IN their relationship so I can't really form an opinion thus, have to take his word for it, alas I digress. After ending this relationship my friend stated to me that he isn't interested in getting in another one for a little while for the fact that he wants to focus on his own personal progress in life and well being, a notion that I can really respect. So everything is cool right?

Enter: LOVE

Now my friend who just said he wanted to remain single starts to hang out with a female friend of his more often, and though he denies it I can look in his eye and tell there is "love" there. I'm no expert and I'm no relationship specialist (farrrrrr from it) but, I understand emotion and feelings and can tell if someone is in love.

Enter: PAIN

Naturally as my friend starts to pull closer to his new "friend" his ex- girlfriend feels what anyone else would in that given situation; pain. Pain is the great equalizer here. For every smile there is a frown and for every giggle there's a tear. The world can seem so complex at times but, when you really look at it, everything is so simple. The world never changes and human nature doesn't either. Everything repeats itself eventually thus, the circle of life ("life" being not just birth and death) takes place.


Example 2:

This example happened just yesterday and involves myself. This one hit me hard but I knew I could only avoid it for so long. As many of you may or may not know I had a girlfriend for almost 2 years starting after my senior year in high school whom I loved very much. She was my first real girlfriend (don't laugh) and we shared many memories that cant ever be duplicated or replaced. We ended up breaking up before Christmas 2008. At that time I took my "fuck love it leads to heartbreak" stance and swore to remain single for the rest of my life due to "women not being necessary for anything except sex" ( I had a very negative attitude mind you). Since breaking up with my ex we remained off and on friends. Sometimes we'd talk and hangout alot and sometimes we wouldn't but the whole time there always seemed to be "loose strings" and feelings for each other left in the air.

Enter: LOVE

I was not a fan. I hated the word, I hated the idea. Love was something that brought false hope and Pain. I wanted to avoid it at all costs. When me and my friends went out places, when I went to the mall even when I went to the grocery store I walked around with my heart "closed". wasn't interested. Funny thing about Love though is that it doesn't care if you're "ready" it comes around when it's "ready". I met my soon to be girlfriend in June of 2009. I denied liking her for months. I told myself it wasn't possible she's just "some chick". It didn't work.

Everyday from then on when I saw my ex's face I knew of the storm brewing inside. We'd hang out and she'd say things like "If you ever fall someone, please tell me. I can handle it" but, I knew she couldn't "handle it". How could you expect someone who loved you more than anyone to "handle" you falling for someone else? So I kept it to myself. I had to.. Recently my new girlfriend and I made our relationship official. My heart defeated my head.


Enter: PAIN

Yesterday I knew I had to do something. I had just spent New Year's with my girlfriend and I needed to put things to rest. My ex texted asking to why I hadn't spoken to her in a few days, she asked me if I had been spending time with someone else. I had to tell her now. The Painful conversation lasted 3 hours and words were muffled through her sobbing and crying. I felt like shit. But how could I? We had been broken up for over a year! I broke up with her! How could I feel guilty?

Pain is Love, Joy is Sorrow and Pride is Disgust. Everything has balance and nothing is avoidable. Everything happens for a reason and not everything makes sense. Love is ineffable so any explanation would be inadequate.

That whole post may have just been a load of jibberish and I may have just wasted 2 hours of my life trying to collect my thoughts and compose that. If so, then so be it. I will touch back on this subject at a later date though. This concept intrigues me.

Where's HeartlessMARC?


I've had alotta people ask me lately "what happened to HeartlessMARC?, you still rappin?". The short answer to that question is nothing happened to him and yes, I am still doing music. The reason for this recent hiatus is entirely due to funds and timing. I haven't learned much in my 20 years on this earth but, one thing I did learn is that it takes money to make money. In other words if I want the flashy life and expensive lifestyle along with the hard work required, there is also a financial commitment that I will have to put forth. So with me not exactly having great cashflow, I naturally will have to "wait my time" and it's coming, believe that.

Nothing in life that comes easy is worth having. If you don't have to work for it, how can you ever really appreciate it? It's the year 2010 now and with every new year comes new hope. I'm simply going to continue writing everything down that comes to mind and when the day comes that I can transition my thoughts from my notebooks to your ears I will make sure to cherish tha moment.


Progress is a slow process and I fully believe that




I'm back and I'm better than ever! Yeah ,yeah I know I said I was done bloggin for good blah blah..but I just couldn't quite kick the habit. I will be back on here providing you with the same entertaining thoughts and commentary on various issues I come across in my life. Are you guys excited? I know I am. It's a new year and I'm determined to become a "new" person. Not that I'm looking to change who I am exactly, I'm just looking to improve. Self improvement begins with "self" and I am determined to become the best "Marc" I can be.

With that being said I have made ALOT of changes in my life already since my last blog post. I'll try to update you guys on as many of them as I can throughout my transition back into blogging. Remember that I am open to any suggestions whether it's constuctive critcism or just you bein a hater ( I get plenty of that in real life so I'm used to it) I accept all comments.

Well ima just wrap this post by saying IM BACK and I can't wait to get back in the swing of things